Funny enough, this is the only picture I found of you that I took (I wasn’t even intentionally trying to take this picture of you). I thought I never needed to take a picture because at that time, I honestly thought we would still be friends through these years. Your face is sort of blurred in my mind, but it doesn’t really matter, I still remember the way you made me feel before we had our falling out.

The other day, I was doing a bit of studying on Sunday morning in the arboretum, and as a ritual I always take a walk just to reflect and appreciate the life that I have, no matter what is going on in my life- good or bad. For some reason, I stumbled upon the memories we had together. Usually when I think of you, I first get happy and then sad because of the great times we had, but then sad since we don’t talk anymore.

But this time when I thought of you, it was the first time I couldn’t stop smiling. I actually laughed because of the funny things we did together. I will never forget that time we were studying together and you kept asking me a question about math since you hated it (maybe you still do) but then I was like I HAVE TO STUDY. So then I took your problem set away from you and a few seconds later I ended up on the floor. I didn’t understand what had happened, but you pulled my chair right underneath me and I fell right to the ground. Remind you, this was all at the library so you were holding your laugh in but if we weren’t in the library, you would have belted out laughing. The reaction in my head was “what…just…happened….” but at the end of it, I was laughing too, just because how ridiculous it was.

I know the probability of you reading this is close to none, but I really do miss you. I remember everything we did together and the time we spent with each other. I am not angry at you, just more concerned about how you are doing now. I hope you haven’t forgotten about me, because I haven’t forgotten about you. I just wish I could somehow show you how much better of a person I’ve become because of you. You have influenced and motivated me to always become better. I can’t exactly explain how you motivate me, but it relates subtly to our falling out. Maybe I wasn’t good enough to be your friend at the end, so I work harder and harder to prove to myself that I can be the best person I can be at the end of the day.  All smiles here.

Although I don’t have a picture of us together, the picture of you in my memories will always be there. You’re in my mind, dreams, and you definitely hold a piece of my heart. Hopefully someday we’ll see each other again and you can connect that piece you have back into my heart. I miss you.